~!ROFL!~

pics from my bbq party

2005-12-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

Ah Beng

2005-09-12T15:32:00.000+08:00

(Act 1)

Ah Beng calls the telephone operator:
Ah Beng: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Singapore and New York?"
Operator: "Just a minute..."
Ah Beng: "Thank you." Ah Beng got his answer and cut off the line.

(Act 2)
At a bar in New York, the man sat next to Ah Beng told the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his companion said, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender turned to Ah Beng and asked, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replied: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

(Act 3) After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 MONTHS to do it," Ah Beng said. "FIVE MONTHS? Why did you take so long." the friend asked. Ah Beng replied, "No, it is not long at all, look at the box, it says it is for 4 to 7 years".

(Act 4) Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition. During the Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'." The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!". Others exclaim, "No, its Grape Juice!" Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host : "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, I don't need their help? I got more original answer. My answer is "Gu ni!" (milk in Hokkien)

(Act 5) Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. After a few attempts, he decided to use the 'Help' command. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer shop for support.
Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me...."

(Act 6) In the class.
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo.
So if they walk together, we can say they are 'Cow Pay Cow Boo'".

(Act 7)
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered," I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to the other ear?" Ah Beng: "That stupid fellow called back again loh!"

(Act 8)
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because according to the advertisement, below 18 is not allowed to go in.

2005-09-03T16:47:00.000+08:00

S.H.I.T

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management andconsulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching. (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

2005-09-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

Three women die together in an accident and go heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

2005-09-03T16:26:00.001+08:00

Alex is totally exhausted after work for almost 24 hours. So he goes into a bar and take a glass of water at the table and drink it. The water is not belong to him, but to the guy who sit next to him. The guy cry when his glass of water been drink by him. Here is the conversation....

Alex : Don't cry, I would buy you another drink. Ok ?

Guy : That's is not the problem, today is my most unlucky day. This morning I have been scold by my boss and I get fired. When I want to go home, my car been stolen and when I reach home. I realize I left my purse and credit card inside the bus. I get into the room, I found out my wife sleep with another guy. I leave my house and straight away come to this bar. Think and think again, I decided to end my life. Suddenly, you drink my poison....

2005-09-03T16:26:00.000+08:00

There is a doctor who just buy a new motorcycle Honda and meet his good friend on the way home and offer his friend a ride. On the way home, his friend feel kinda odd because the doctor just use gear one. On the road, on the hill all the time used gear one only until the engine been damage badly. So, he ask the doctor...

Friend : Why you keep use gear one ?

Doctor : Nevermind, spoiled one gear. Got another one....

2005-09-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

A blonde is driving through Florida on her way to Disneyland. As she gets closer she sees a sign that says, 'Disneyland left'. So she turns around and goes home.

2005-09-01T17:05:00.000+08:00

Computer doctor

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only costs you $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using cocaine.
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better....

2005-09-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

One day alttle girl is running through her house with pink panties on her head.Her dad was getting angry so he finally took them off. The girl felt upset so she askd her parents for a cat. Her dad said no but her mom said yes so they got her a cat. Her dad was angry so he shaved the cat and named it pussy.The girl was really upset so she asked for a dog. Her dad said no but mom said yes so she got a dog. Her dad was so angry that he named the dog ass and kicked it around all the time. One day the little girl was sitting on her front porch crying and a police officer comes up to her and askes her whats wrong. The little girl says "my dad took off my little pink panties, shaved my pussy, and kicked my ass.

another version of star wars

2005-08-12T13:43:00.000+08:00

http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

whore house

2005-08-12T13:32:00.000+08:00

A little boy hears the word "whorehouse" in school and asks his father what it means.

His father is quite shocked, and replies: "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time.

"The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father insists that he's too young.

Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "mussie" to "have a good time," not knowing the little boy is following them.

After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the madame that he too wants to have a good time.
She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady, she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.

Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried.

His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.

"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.

"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?""

I managed the first two without any problem, but I just licked the last one."

2005-08-12T13:23:00.000+08:00

There was once a bikers,who did alot of good deeds,the day before he died,he prayed and wished to go to heaven,and his dream was fulfilled,but he have long hairs(because he was another sort of metal-rocker),so on his way to the heaven gate,he met the guardians.

Guardians:Hi there,welcome to the Abra Gate of Heaven,may I know your name please?

Mike:My name is mike peterson,call me mike,can i pass the Abra Gate of Heaven now?

Guardians:No,it was because your hair was too long and you have to shortened it there.

(Just by the Guardians finished his words,Mike saw someone riding Harley Davidson big bike(with long hairs) and moving towards to the Abra Gate of Heaven without being stopped.In disatisfaction,he swore 'what the fuck are you doing?you saw that fella with long hairs moving in and you didn't stop him?and yet i got stopped just because of my hairs?)

Why is the man not stopped by the guardian?

He's JESUS!
That's why,Mike had just learnt his lesson,think twice before you talk!

Maths

2005-08-08T20:02:00.000+08:00

Ignore the slang and think about the message!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND,
look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the BullshiT and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

huh?

2005-08-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

1. Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were at seawhenthey were hijacked by a group of pirates.

The pirates cornered the 3 men and said "Give usall your valuables!" The chief pirate then raiseda syringe and added, "Or else we'll inject youwith the AIDS virus!"

Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuablesand handed them to the pirates. Satisfied, theythrew him into the sea.

Muthu was equally quick to comply with thepirates' wishes. Similarly, he removed hisvaluables and surrendered them to the pirates.Like Mohammad, he was thrown into the sea.

Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. He stared atthe pirates and sneered. "You all kee see lah! (goand die!) Inject, inject lah, you'll never get mylolex and my JPG warret!"

The pirates, showing no mercy, injected Ah Bengwith the HIV virus, and robbed him of his precious watch and wallet. They then threw him into the seawith the rest.

In the water, both Mohammad and Muthucommended AhBeng for his bravery. However, they were prettyperplexed by why he was unafraid of the virus.Grinning, Ah Beng answered, "AIDS I not scared,what... I got condom!!!"

Missed Russell Peters comedy?

2005-07-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

=).. here is the comedy of Russell Peter if u wanna watch

go to this blog:
http://www.ramnaths.blogspot.com/

then click:
RUSSELL PETERS - STAND UP COMEDY(MUST WATCH!)

it will take some time to download.. ; patient

spielberg & chinese.. whart connection?

2005-07-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

A Malaysian Chinese dude goes to US...One day, china man goes clubbing... see's StevenSpielberg in the club(Partially drunk).China man gets excited, runs to Spielberg, hugshim... "Herrow Mr.Spiewberg...I your nambar 1Fan...From Malasyia...I like your muwies bla blabla...

"Spielberg SLaps China man... when china manasked y....
Spielberg went "You idiots Bombed ourPearl Harbour once upon a time...".

Chinaman explains that it was the Japanese and not thechinese...

Spielberg : u chinese,taiwanese,japanese are allthe same...damnit...

Chinaman drinks another glass of beer, burps...
Slaps Spielberg...
Spielberg : wut was that for???
Chinaman : You Sank Titanic...My grandpa was init...
Spielberg : U idiot...it was not me, The Titanicsank because of an iceberg u moron!!.

Chinaman : U Iceberg,Spielberg,Carlsberg all also same la..stupid.... walks off....

Airplane--> reminds of airbus?

2005-07-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

"Welcome abroad to AirPlane. This is ur captain speaking. On ur left u'll see the left wing's on fire & on ur right u'll see the right wing's falling apart & down below u'll see a yellow raft & 3 ppl inside waving at u. That's me and the other 2 assistants waving at u all. Take note this is a recorded announcement. I repeat this is a recorded announcement."

Confusing names

2005-07-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

>Lee Sum Wan: Hello can i speak to Annie Wan

> >Mr Sori: Yes u could speak to me.

> >Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!

> >Mr Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

> >Lee Sum Wan: I'm Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.

> >Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?

> >Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother,Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the >hospital.

> >Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!

> >Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?

> >Mr Sori: I'm Sori.

> >Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mango tree

2005-07-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

ali and ahmad are good frens... 1 day while they are on their way home, they came across to a mango tree n the tree got only 1 big mango... so ali told ahmad... "eh ahmad, did u see tat big mango?? lets take a some stones n throw it down so v can have it..." after they hav collected all the stones, they started to aim and throw at the mango... after 10 minutes of throwing, ali told ahmad again... " ahmad, y dun u climb n check out whether the mango is ripe or not... if not, it's juz wasting our time only... so ahmad climb the mango tree n check it out... 5 minute later, ahmad come down from the mango tree n tell ali... "ali, the mango is ripe enough... lets continue throw stones to the mango..."

Enjoy it

2005-07-23T10:58:00.000+08:00

Hope you all enjoy a good laugh....
The mother said "Harry, get out of bed or you'll be late for school"
Harry said, "But mom, the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me! Give me one good reason why I should go"

The mother said "Simple" "You're the principal"

listening comprehension

2005-07-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

hey.. listen to this conversation
kinda stupid n funny
erm.. dun thing the libraby got speakers if u wanna listen it there.. =)
if u listen in the web.. erm put on ur earphones i shall suggest
hahaha

http://paginas.terra.com.br/educacao/asktheteacher/malta.htm

Swtz.. Malaysia?

2005-07-22T18:43:00.000+08:00

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Singaporean PM Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and uncorruptable cabinet.

On hearing Mahathir's woes, PM Goh said, 'Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet. ' Mahathir asked, 'Yes, but how do you know that they are able?' PM Goh replied, Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence. They don't need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.

'Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him, 'Hey Tony, come over here.' Tony obediently walked briskly over. PM Goh asked, 'Tell me, Tony, who is your father's son ?

'Tony Tan immediately replied, 'Me! Of course.' PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said, 'See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don't you go back and try.' Mahathir thank PM Goh and left.

Once he was back, he immediately summoned Abdullah, his deputy, and shot the question at him, 'Tell me, Abdullah, who is your father's son ?' Abdullah was shocked beyond words and did not know the answer

After a while, he recovered and said, 'Boss, let me find out and I'll tell you tomorrow.' Mahathir, a bit disappointed, agreed, hoping that Abdullah will give a good answer tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Abdullah was panicking that his boss was testing him. He tried desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but none of them knew the answer. The next morning, he decided to call George Bush for help.

Surely the most powerful person in the world must know the answer. When George picked up the phone, Abdullah said, 'Hello, George, can I ask you a question?' Bush, very busy, replied, 'Alright, but it better be good!' Abdullah quickly asked, Tell me, who is your father's son ?

'Bush was fuming, 'Of course its me, you stupid!' and he slammed the phone down

Satisfied that he got the answer, he confidently walked into Mahathir's office and said, 'Boss, I've got the answer to your question.

'Mahathir, happy that his deputy wasn't that dumb, said, 'So tell me quick, who is your father's son, Abdullah?' Abdullah confidently replied, 'It''s GEORGE BUSH!'

Mahathir slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, No you stupid! It's TONY TAN!

cute

2005-07-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

erm.. its in chinese
didnt underdtand wart they wrote but looks kinda funny..
well.. wart now.. go check it out lah!!

http://ugamehk.com/i-game/other/swf/find.swf

Class time

2005-07-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

CLASS TIME

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.

Students: Good morning, teacher.

Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning? What about afternoon and night?

Students: Good morning, afternoon and night teacher!

Teacher : That is unacceptable! It is too long. Just wish me best regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all times.

Students: Best regards teacher!

Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I,m going to test you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite meaning to the words, understand?

Students: Understood teacher!

Teacher : I do not want any disturbance!
Students: (silence)

Teacher : Clever!
Students: Stupid!

Teacher : High!
Students: Low!

Teacher : Popular!
Students: Calafare!

Teacher : Wrong!
Students: Correct!

Teacher : Stupid!
Students: Clever!

Teacher : No!
Students: Yes!

Teacher : Oh God!
Students: Oh Slave!

Teacher : Listen to this!
Students: Listen to that!

Teacher : Quiet!
Students: Noisy!

Teacher : That's not a question, stupid!
Students: This is an answer, clever!

Teacher : I'm dead!
Students: We're alive!

Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
Students: We are hardworking to learn!

Teacher : Enough! Enough!
Students: More! More!

Teacher : Stop! Stop!
Students: Start! Start!

Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
Students: Because I am someone clever!

Teacher : Lack manners!
Students: Taught enough!

Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended! Students: K.O. Lesson has not started! Teacher : Enough, stupid!
Students: Not yet, clever!

Teacher : Stand up! Students: Sit down! Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!
Students: We said POPULAR was correct!

Teacher : You people are dumb!
Students: We are gifted!

Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon! S
tudents: Released tonight!

Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)

2005-07-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Eddy what is your problem?" Eddy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had had enough.

She took Eddy to the principal's office.

While Eddy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

The teacher agreed.

Eddy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Eddy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Eddy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Eddy can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Eddy both agree.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Eddy, after a moment, "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Eddy replied, "Pockets." Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Eddy: "Pants"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Eddy: Coconut

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Eddy was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Eddy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Eddy: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Eddy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Eddy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Eddy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Eddy: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Eddy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
Eddy: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Eddy in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."

optical illusion

2005-07-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

well... its better if u watch this at home.. =)

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabotage/o...al_sabotage.asp

2005-07-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

>Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in asks the barman.
>"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
>
>The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,>"Hello,>what are you guys doing?"
>
>Bush says, " We're planning World War 3".
>
>The guys says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
>
>And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and
>one
>bicycle repairman."
>
>And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!">

>Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you, no one would worry
>about
>the 14 million Pakistanis!"

kids i tell u....

2005-07-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

A mother was working in the kitchen,listening toher five-year-old son playing with his new electrictrain in the living room. She heard the trainstop & her son saying, "All you bastards whowant off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is thelaststop! And all you bastards who are getting on,get your ass in the train, 'cause we're goingdown the tracks."The horrified mother went in &told her son, "We don't use that kind oflanguage in this house. Now I want you to goto your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. Whenyou come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of thebedroom & resumed playing with his train.Soon the train stopped & the mother heard herson say, "All passengers who are disembarkingthe train, please remember to take all yourbelongings with you. We thank you for travellingwith us today & hope your trip was a pleasantone."She heard the little boy continue, "For thoseof you just boarding, we ask you to stow all yourhand luggage under your seat. Remember, thereis no smoking on the train. We hope you will havea pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the childadded, "For those of you who are pissed off aboutthe TWO-HOUR delay, please direct yourcomplaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen. Thankyou for travelling with us."

Akta 15

2005-07-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Sepasang kekasih baru yang bekerja sebagai pekerjasosial.. Hamid dan Rosni selalu bersama walau kemana jua.. Suatu malam ketika mereka berdua keluarberdating...

Hamid : "Kita nak kemana nie?"
Rosni : "Tak kisah la.. mana-mana pun boleh"
Hamid : "Apa kata kalau kita ke pantai..
"Rosni : "Saya ok aje.."

Apabila sampai dipantai mereka berdua tidak keluardari kereta.. mereka hanya berehat sambil berbual-bual didalam kereta.. Mulanya berbual biasa..lama-kelamaan.. Hamid meletakkan tangannya dipaha Rosni.. nampaknya Rosni tidakmembantah..Beberapa minit kemudian.. Hamid mengerakkantangannya beberapa inci ke atas... Rosni masih tidakmembantah... hinggalah akhirnya ketika Hamid mengerakkan tangannya beberapa inci lagi.. Rosni berkata dengan sopan.."Abang Hamid... ingatlah pada akta 15 dalamperlembagaan pekerja sosial"

Setelah mendengarkan teguran Rosni itu.. Hamid terusmenarik tangannya menjauhi Rosni.. walaupun sebenarnya dia tidak berapa ingat isi kandungan akta15 itu..

Hamid : "Maafkan saya"
Rosni : "Tak apa"

Lalu mereka pulang... Di rumah.. Hamid terus masuk kebilik dan membuka buku perlembagaan pekerjasosial dan mencari akta 15.. lalu dia membacakandungannya...

"Teruskan Usahamu.. Jangan lakukan Separuh JalanSahaja"

Smart Smuggler

2005-07-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that - get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

The next day, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard runs into him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

The Whole Truth

2005-07-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults arehiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it veryeasy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" evenwhen you don't know anything.The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted byhis mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth."His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell yourfather." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home fromwork, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The fatherpromptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word toyour mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, whenhe sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him bysaying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail,opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

the girl and teh coconut tree..

2005-07-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

One day, there is a girl walking at the sea side.Suddenly 3 guy walk past and say i giv u RM5 if u climb the coconut tree.Then she climb lor.After that she went home and told her mother that I earn RM5 today.The mother ask how she get and she replied few boy ask me to climb the coconut tree and they will pay me RM5.The mother scolded and say u stupid they want to see ur panties oni.The next day she went to the beach again,the 3 guy came and ask her to climb the tree again but this time they pay RM10, then she also follow.Then she went home and tell her mother tht she earn RM10.The mother ask how she get and she replied few boy ask me to climb the coconut tree and they will pay me RM10.The mother scolded her again and say u stupid they want to see ur panties oni.She replied mom u are wrong .Today i din wear panties!!

Strange News on Television

2005-07-16T01:08:00.000+08:00

Good morning to everyone and I am Audrey and here's the six o'clock news

The police department is investigating reports that....

3 penguin escaped from the zoo and they....

Stole a car and robbed a convenience store getting away with...

Twenty tons of illegally dumped garbage which....

Will go on sale tommorow at the stadium box office...

Poem

2005-07-14T15:38:00.000+08:00

JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread

LITTLE MISS Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

2005-07-13T15:30:00.000+08:00

Plat Number ?

2 friends go to museum to look at exhibition of Egypt. They saw a mummy that been covered with white silk with a bronze plat wrote '1268 S.M'.

Ah Hong : What is that ?

Mike : Oh, that is the plat number of the car that hit the victim and caused his death.
===========================================================

Your princess or your predator ?

There is a frog meet a magic mirror and the magic mirror reply...

Magic Mirror : Hello, Mr.Frog. You would meet a girl with a sexy voice, very beautiful and she want to know more about you.

So, the frog jump happily and ask...

Frog : Where can I meet her ? At Castle or .....

Magic Mirror : No, at the biology laboratory.

Bad luck

2005-07-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

one day three men were walking in the desert....suddenly one collapsed of dehydration and knock over a magic lamp in the sand. A GENIE come out anf said:"I'll put three pools in front of you, say one of desires and it will appear in the pool.

The 1st one said:" I WANT A POOL OF COKE!" poof, coke came out.

The 2nd said:" VODKA FOR ME PLEASE!!" poof, out came vodka.

The 3rd one still walking around having no idea wat to wish for was walking in front of his pool and suddenly trip on the lamp and said:" SHIT!!"

ewww.....

funny ghost story

2005-07-11T16:07:00.000+08:00

two ghost met and both chat about how they died.

1st ghost : how u died?

2nd ghost : i died of cold

1st ghost : how does it feel when dying in cold?

2nd ghost : actually i was imprison in refrigerator. at first i was shivering, then my whole body started to frozen, later i felt the whole world was dark and i died. fortunately, i died with not much suffering.

1st ghost : what a pity for u.... 2nd ghost : how about u? how u died? 1st ghost : i died of heart attacked.

2nd ghost : i see, how u had a heart attacked?

1st ghost : actually i found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. one day when i came back from work, i saw a pair of male shoes outside of my house. then i realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. when i rush into the bedroom, my wife was alone. i must find where that ??????? is hiding. so i search the toilet, i ran to downstairs, look in the storeroom, but the ??????? was not found. so, i ran upstairs and search the wardrobe, but i found nothing. because i was too tired of running, i got heart attacked and died.

2nd ghost : why not u look for the ??????? in the fridge? if you did, both of us were alive now!

2005-07-11T15:43:00.000+08:00

Bob: "So, how's it going with the ladies?"

Joey: "Women to me are sex objects."

Bob: "Really?"

Joey: "Sure. Whenever I mention sex, they object."

----------------------------------

Two cuties were comparing notes concerning their latest boyfriends.

The first said, "He took me to his condo in Ocean City and showed me all these expensive jewels. There was an emerald-cut diamond of at least five carats, a tennis bracelet of six carats, and even a wrist watch with eleven carats."

"Impressive." said the second young thing.

"Well... yes." the first agreed. "But the downside was that with all those carats, he expected me to behave like a rabbit."

Cute

2005-07-11T15:28:00.000+08:00

check it out.. cute
http://www.cunicuni.com/ani1.htm
http://www.cunicuni.com/ani2.htm
http://www.cunicuni.com/ani3.htm

Vacation at Nude Beach

2005-07-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach.The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes andplays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes runningback and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger thandaddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber theyare."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes runningback and says..."Mommy, I just saw daddy talking to the dumbestlady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber anddumber he got!"

*Please be open*

Man Who Loved Baked Beans

2005-07-07T20:21:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passionfor baked beans. He loved them, but they always had anembarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he meta girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they wouldmarry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with themarriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supremesacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on hisbirthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told herthat he would be late because he had to walk home. On his wayhome, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of bakedbeans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walkhe figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home.It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, andbefore leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home hefelt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemedsomewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the mostwonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put ablindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of thetable and made him promise not to peak. At this point he wasbeginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife wasabout to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She againmade him promise not to peek until she returned, and away shewent to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized theopportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It wasnot only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard timebreathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air abouthim. He had just started to feel better, when another urge cameon. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a dieselengine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, hetried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell woulddissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbonwinner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and aminute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewellshe neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on topof it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence whenhis wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked ifhe had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had notpeeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!

"To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table for his surprise birthday party.

Dinner With Girlfriend's Parents

2005-07-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and havedinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, thegirl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she wouldlike to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, sohe takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. Thep harmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boyeverything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condomshe'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boyinsists on the family pack because he thinks he will be ratherbusy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house andmeets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you tomeet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where thegirl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say graceand bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with hishead down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriendleans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea youwere this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father wasa pharmacist."

Man Falls Asleep At Church

2005-07-07T20:07:00.000+08:00

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, myhusband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's veryembarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I willmotion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him agood poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticingthis, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made theultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with thehatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who isyour redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towardsMrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did notnotice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a fewmotions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet herhusband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she borehim his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick thatgoddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in halfand shove it up your ass!""Amen," replied the congregation.

What pissed me off

2005-07-07T19:58:00.000+08:00

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned overand confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !"

"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to herhome. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and wewere just about to make love when her god damned husband came inthe front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window andhang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender. "Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," thecustomer went on.

"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You'renaked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazyson of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in alousy mood." "

Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and whenthey finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was whenthe husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toiletis broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let looseright on my head !

" The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know whatREALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and sawthat my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

A speaking problem

2005-07-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

...i'm james, n my frd is john. we known each other when we was at secondary school. now, we are study in a same colege. every weekend, i n john go to the nearest town to having our great time together.. we usually having our dinner near a cinema.. after our dinner we will going to hav a movie as a threat.. every time before we going in to our seats. we will buy some drinks n popcorns. but, john help me to make the orders... the girl working there was so beautiful. i like the way she look, but i don't brave enough to talk with her... [after few weeks]i brave my self to talk with her. after our dinner.. we walk to the cinema as usual.. but today i feel a little nervous because i will talk the girl work at the popcorn stall... after john make his order.. i walk to her gentelly n i make my order... john was fainted at that moment... but i dunno why... the girl also run away..i think for a while n my speech to that firl was sounds like tat "CAN... I... HAVE.... A... BIG... COCK... PORN..??!!

=)

2005-07-04T18:29:00.000+08:00

hey.. visit this website.. diff version of conter strike eh?

http://www.2flashgames.com/viewlink.php?url=http://www.lookatentertainment.com/v/v-222.htm&id=1248

First Time Nude

2005-07-04T18:25:00.000+08:00

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

Songs Against The Teacher

2005-07-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

Mr. Eric was walking around the form 3 block when he saw one of the form 3 class, 'T', making noise. He entered the classroom and this is what happened....

Mr. Eric: Who was playing and talking please stand up or the whole class gets it.
Anand : "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"(Eminem)
Mr. Eric: You! I want you to come to my office now Office

Time: 0900 hrs

Mr.Eric: What Is Your name?
Anand : "Say My Name Say My Name"(Destiny's Child)
Mr.Eric: Don't play a fool
Anand : "Can't Believe I'm The Fool Again"(Westlife)
Mr.Eric: Do you want me to beat you ?
Anand : "Hit Me Baby One More Time"(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: What did u say?
Anand : "WHAT!"(Stone Cold)
Mr.Eric: Are you out of your head?
Anand : "I Can't Get U Outta My Head"(Kylie Minogue)
Mr.Eric: Who do you think you are ?
Anand : "I'm A Genie In Bottle"(Christina Aguilera)
Mr.Eric: How many demerits do you want?
Anand : "1,2,3,4,5,Everybody In The Car..."(Lou Bega)
Mr.Eric: Do you always play in class?
Anand : "Sometimes I Run, Sometimes I..."(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: Do u think this is a party ?
Anand : "I'm Coming Up So U Better Get The Party Started"(Pink)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come for detention class tomorrow morning
Anand : "Every Morning They're A Hello..."(Sugar Ray)
Mr.Eric: I've just changed my mind. I want you to come everyday
Aanad : "Everyday I Love You"(Boyzone)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come alone
Anand : "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"(Backstreet Boys)
Mr.Eric: It gonna be the two of us
Anand : "Just The Two Of Us"(Will Smith)
Mr.Eric: Are you going to shut up or do you want me to stop talking
Anand : "You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All"(Ronan Keating)
Mr.Eric: I want you to promise me that you won't get into anymore trouble.
Anand : "This I Promise You"(N*sync)
Mr.Eric: Make Sure you don't get into trouble again
Anand : "Oops I Did It Again"(Britney Spears)
Mr.Eric: You can go now
Anand : "There She Goes"(Sixpence None The Richer)
Mr.Eric: I said go!Anand : "Bye Bye Bye"(N*sync)

The poor eyesight man

2005-07-04T17:56:00.000+08:00

There is a man with his wife go to clinic to see doctor due to the man poor eyesight. So, they went to see the doctor and here is the conversation.Wife : My husband seem like getting mad and crazy now a days doctor, you go to have a conversation with him for a while.Doctor : Ok, I would try to talk with him and see where goes wrong.So, the doctor and the man have a conversation...Man : I am so fortunate enough for a god to likes me very much, everytime at night when I go to pissed at toilet. The light at toilet would switch on automatically to enable me to see it. Don't you think this is such a bless ?Doctor : Yeah, you are right. Is such a bless to have the god to likes you very much until it switch on the light at the toilet for you to see. If you don't mind, would you go outside and let me have a talk with your wife ? So, the man go outside....Doctor : I think your husband have some mental problem and have to be send hospital. I don't think is because of his eyesight problem because he told me that everytime he go to pissed at toilet at night, the god would switch on the light for him.Wife : No wonder, now I know who is the one who pissed infront of the refrigerator.

The Collision

2005-07-04T17:48:00.000+08:00

A women and a man get into a head on collisionon a quiet rural highway .Both car are totally demolised , but amazingly , neither of the drivers is hurt .After crawling out of their car...The women says " so you're a man,interesting . Look at our car,there's nothing left .We are fortune that we are unhurt ! This must be a sign that we should meet ,be friends, and live together in peace for the rest of our days "So the women continued........." look at this ! ( pulling something from the wreck age)here's another miracle ! My car is completely demolished , but this bottle of wine still didn't break.Surely someonewants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune !The man shakes his head in agreement and she hands him the bottle .He opens it and take a few big swigs in toast to their good fortune . Then he hands the bottle back to woman, who immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.The man asks,confused ...." aren't u going to have any? " The women reples ..." no , i think i'll just wait .....for the police ... "

3 vampires

2005-07-02T16:32:00.000+08:00

Vampire want to show how terror are they. So the first vampire fly like a lightning. 2 minute later he return back with his mouth full with blood.

Vampire 1 : Do you see the building over the mountain ?

Vampire 2 & 3 : Yep!!!

Vampire : I suck everyone blood inside the building.

The 2nd Vampire are anger when heard his friend say this. So, he fly like a bullet and after 1 minute later. He return back just like the first vampire with his mouth and finger full with blood.

Vampire 2 : You see the town over there ? Not the entire building, but entire town.

Now is time for the 3rd vampire to show his terrror. He fly and fade been eat by a worm hole and within 20 second he return back with his face, nose and eye with blood.

Vampire 1 & 2 : Wow, this one even more terror. I not yet sit down already come back.

Vampire 3 : You saw the wall over there ?

Vampire 1 & 2 : Yes, but why ?

Vampire 3 : Err, I don't saw it.

2005-07-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

It was the month of celebratin', December. And it was Christmas eve on that day. Firstly, this kid, around 4~5 years old, heard his parents quarellin'. 'BITCHes and BASTARDs' all over. Then he began to ask, mom, dad, what does 'BITCH and BASTARD" means? What was their reply to his question? Lol... They answered, 'BITCH' means ladies whereas 'BASTARD' means gentlemen. After that, this kid went to bed, and guess what? He heard his neighbour havin' sex. And unfortunately, he heard 'DICKs and VAGINAs'. Out of curiousity, he went to his parents again. This time, they said..."Nah...you dun have to care much. It's winter son. And you know, those people are cold which made them wearin' hats and jackets. And therefore, DICK=hat and VAGINA=jacket. This kid was happy that day as he learnt 4 new words. The next mornin', while his dad was shavin' his moustache, he accidently peeled off his skin, and he shouted "Shit!" This kid went to him and asked, "Dad, what do you mean by shit?" And his father replied, "Oh it means my shavin' cream." Then he went into the kitchen, this kid's mom was jz about to put the turkey to the oven but, she dropped the whole turkey onto the ground, and immediately she screamed "Fark!" This kid passed by and asked the meanin' of it...and his mom explained that it means the ingredients for the turkey.

It's already 6.30 p.m. Guests are beginnin' to come to their house. And this "well mannered" kid said, "Welcome, bastards and bitches. You may take off your dicks and vaginas and hang it over there. My dad is currently in the bathroom puttin' shit on his face while my mom is in the kitchen farkin' the turkey."

OMFG~! Come on guyz, I want see all of you RoFL~!

lets all laugh =)

2005-07-02T15:31:00.000+08:00

Old couple wanted to have sex!

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.

His wife said, "Where are you going ?"

He said, "I'm going to the doctor."

And she said, "Why? Are you sick?" "No," he said.

"I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."

So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?"

She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."

He said, "Why?"

She said, "If you're going to start up that rusty old thing again, I'm better get me a tetanus shot."

hey.. welcome to Mei Chia's blog!!

2005-07-02T09:03:00.000+08:00

hahahah.. welcome welcome to my blog!
hmm.. guess i will fill my blog with jokes.. erm.. so if u ppl wanna laugh.. do so come visit my blog
i will always try to add in new jokes i can find!!
=) hope u ppl will enjoy when u visit my webpage!!=.=